My Phone Rings

So, how did you get this number?

I got your number from a directory.

No, you didn’t!

Why didn’t I?

Because I use an answering service.

Why do you use an answering service?

Because I am a very private person.

What …are you nuts or something?

No, I am a reclusive billionaire.

You’re shitting me!

No, I’m not!

So where are you right now?

I’m sitting in a 48 room mansion on Long Island.


Who are you and what do you want?

I would like to lower your credit card interest rate.

I don’t worry about credit card interest rates.

Why not?

Because I do not use credit cards.

Why don’t you use credit cards?

I don’t need to.

Why not?

Because wherever I go, they just give me whatever I want and they know they will

get paid.

That’s crazy!

That’s true!

If you are a billionaire, why are you on a computer?

I like computers. They are one of my hobbies.

What are your other hobbies?

Collecting rare gems and buying real estate.

Don’t you need a credit card for that?


How much do you spend in a transaction like those?

Upwards of a million dollars or more.

So how do the people you buy from get paid if you don’t use credit cards?

My concierge pays them.

You’re shitting me!

Who did you say you were again?

I didn’t say who I was.

So who are you?

I am with the credit card company.

You are a moron, right?

Go f**k yourself!

I’d love to but I can’t!

F**k you!

He hung up on me!


2 thoughts on “My Phone Rings

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