A Different Kind Of Saturday

Maybe a month ago, we were all running around living normal lives …. hustling and bustling to make a living, going to the shopping centers and the malls, going to church, taking the kids to their appointments and to school …. going to the grocery store …. enjoying the then-taken-for-granted luxury of toilet paper.

Seems to be an unlikely story, doesn’t it?  And now it has become an unlikely story, hasn’t it? Coronavirus —– who would have ever imagined?

So, while the world shuts down all around me, I take this opportunity to write on my blog, hoping that more people who are stranded in life the same as I am may come online, visit with me, share my desolation, share some comforting words, do some Internet sex — (NO! JUST KIDDING!) — Do not do that! I am not into that!  If I got an erection at my age, it would be the end of me! Mercy!

I have been studying some depression recipes in case food becomes an issue …. and with all the fat hog hoarders out there, I am sure it will, sooner or later, become an issue.

Depression recipes are recipes for dishes that people used to make and depend on for their daily substance during the years of America’s Great Depression from the 1920s through the early 1940s.  Those recipes included such wonderfully ignominious dishes as stewed tomato dumplings and bean dumplings and, when there was chicken to be found, chicken and dumplings.  Right now the hoarders have caused a chicken problem.

I guess I will be rediscovering the versatile joys of Spam and other canned “Meats” for as long as I can find them somewhere.

Yesterday, I had vegetable lasagna. Not bad once I added shredded cheddar cheese to it when it came out of the oven.  I am not much into lasagne, but you gotta do what you gotta do and that is what my cook prepared and that is what I ate … in severely moderate amounts, I can tell you … because I do not particularly like the stuff!

I am still scouring the markets for toilet paper but it is either non-existent or in short supply.  I understand that the stores will stock their shelves with toilet paper and the hoarding hogs will have the shelves emptied a mere hour or two later. I hope the hoarding hogs are storing this toilet paper in their basements and I hope their basements flood!

I read somewhere yesterday that some dogs somewhere had tested positive for coronavirus.  Alright then, I am carrying my baseball bat with me whenever I go out for a walk and if any of the little bastards come snarling at me, loose from their chains, roaming free and being aggressive towards me, I am going to “Batize” (A bastardization of the word, “Baptise” them …. with as much force as required to make them call off their attacks. I am usually a docile, kind-hearted kind of guy but when it comes to possibly getting coronavirus from a dog bite, that is where I draw the line!

Television is shit these days and radio is just about as bad. I am thinking that if the broadcasters were less inclined to sensationalize all their coronavirus news, there would be less haste by the hoarding hogs to get to the grocery store. But, as I think about it, the whole thing might be planned that way —- broadcast some frightening news about a plague and drive people to rush out to the supermarkets to stock up — It would be good marketing strategy after all …. Is that what is happening?  What do you think?

Some of the stores have announced that their first hour of business on a specially selected day is going to be reserved for elderly people to do their shopping. I am thinking, “Well, that is not the best idea in the world!”  And why am I thinking that way? I am thinking that way because the experts are telling us not to go into crowds because of the coronavirus … and if they dedicate a single hour once a week for old people to do their shopping, the crowd during that time is going to be bigger than it ever was at normal times …. Somebody must have had their head up their ass when they thought that one up!

So here we sit — just literally waiting for this viral bug to catch up to us ….They say that at least half of us are going to come down with the shit before it is all said and done …. if it is ever going to be all said and done … and I am not believing that it is going to end anytime soon … The 1918 Spanish Flu pandemic lasted for a full year …so I am wondering how coronavirus is going to end any sooner than that.

https://www.cdc.gov/flu/pandemic-resources/1918-pandemic-h1n1.html

The medical people are working on a vaccine for coronavirus and the anti-vaxxers are already showing up on the internet with warnings that whatever the vaccine will be, it will be enough to kill everybody who takes it …. so the anti-vas assholes are warning people again to stay away from vaccines …. I cannot, for the life of me, see how that kind of fear mongering is going to be at all helpful during a catastrophe such as the one we are now involved in. I hope that sometime during this plague, somebody who has some legal power will find a way to get those fear mongering idiots locked up because I believe their rants about the dangers of vaccines is going to get somebody seriously harmed or even killed.